Women have been speaking out recently about abuse that has been
happening to women for years, for decades, for more than centuries. Due
to this have I been analyzing what is called “The Mother Wound”.
Theoretically the Mother Wound is the trauma that is passed on
psychologically from mothers to daughters. It is a result of the
unhealed difficulties and suffering that a woman goes through as a
result of living in a patriarchal society. This stress then causes
difficulties in the mother-daughter bond which may be subconscious,
meaning both mother and daughter may be somewhat unaware of the effects
of the negative karma. They may simply sense underlying discord in their
relationship.
I would also like to extend the definition of this to men, as sons
of mothers also feel the burden of societal oppression of women, even if
seemingly indirectly. And the daughters of those men feel it. So no one
who is human is truly free of the oppression that is done to other
humans, as we are all connected.
In a family unit it may look like this: a parent, having seen a
woman suffer at the hands of a man in a relationship, whether personally
or in one of the many examples in society, will push daughters to
succeed in the world out of fear for their safety. They may
unconsciously push the daughters with more fervor and urgency, fearing
that if the girls do not receive education, and succeed professionally,
or marry well, or become very beautiful etc., then the young woman will
inevitably lose in a system that is stacked against them. This pressure
may seem wise, but to a young woman who needs acceptance from the adults
in her life, it may seem overbearing. She may feel that she is in a
scramble to succeed in a society that undermines her or devalues her
true soul. And instead of being able to develop her true qualities, such
as compassion, love, or peace, she feel that she is forced into a rat
race for survival in a world that measures success only by material
titles, money, property, status or power, and much less by integrity of
spirit.
The same pressures may be present for a young man, born of a woman
who experienced the above trauma. The reason that I refer to this as
trauma is that this so called encouragement to succeed is often done at
the expense of valuing the person’s soul. Their true nature is
overlooked. Their spiritual needs are ignored. Simply, there is the rush
to gather the world, to win and to survive in a corrupt system. While
one could potentially find the balance and live a wonderful worldly
experience concurrent with having a healthy spiritual life, this
approach is often not encouraged due to the overwhelming weight of the
trauma and fears that drive people.
So what can we do, you ask.
All is not lost. As a colleague of mine, who I affectionately refer
to as Mother Mary, she having all of the grace of that divine female
icon, recently said, “Yes. It is time for women to powerfully speak out,
but not about how they have been abused, rather about how they are
blessed.” She believes in the inherent strength within the woman’s (and
human’s) spirit and encourages us to focus upon that. Though society may
seem corrupt, she believes that there is an underlying goodness in it
all, in the construction of the Universe, and in the human spirit.
People can shine in their gracious humanity, loving themselves and the
divine soul within themselves, and helping and loving others. Success
can be the result of a natural outpouring of the divine grace that fills
a faithful, satisfied heart; worldly circumstances bow to a person who
has developed their inner self. Gratitude for life and love for humanity
can drive a person instead of greed or fear. We can encourage each
other, believing in our true value and gifts, as opposed to fearing
worldly failure. This shift is happening as women like Mary speak out at
global events to remind us who we are.
To learn how to apply positive thinking in your interpersonal relationships contact me for coaching and healing services!
There is much to say on this topic so please feel free to leave comments!
Dr. Rahman Beckwith integrates Positive Psychology
with spirituality to create holistic healing approaches to wellness. She
is the author of many books, including the recent publication Keeping the
Saints Sane- A Humorous Guide to Surviving as a Spiritual Being in a
Material World (available on Amazon, email for paperback and audio book
versions.)
